move forward, live fully, breathe deeply....

there are so many areas in our lives in which we can get stuck...drowning in things, worry, anxiety. Here is my journey to live simply, with the fantastic freedom of 'less is more' as my mantra.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Retirement Adventures -- Has it really been One Year?

       Where has the time gone?? Getting used to being and living in the civilian world again has it's sunshine and shadow. First, the Colonel has to get used to life out of the uniform that so defined him for 28yrs (plus 4 more in college).  Getting used to the shirt and tie, the hair (oh!! The hair!!! Full Beard displayed daily now!!), the almost normal hours of 9 to 5 ...

How does someone know that the Colonel has been a Leader of young men? He guided and led men to become their best selves--by allowing ideas and innovation to be viewed, discussed, implemented or discarded. The Colonel quietly led, never boastful, never overbearing, taking the time to personally help those whom required the most gentleness.....doing the right thing when it would've been easier to let the system take over -- I can't go into detail, there is a need for privacy-- I just feel that it needed to be addressed here...

Now the Colonel's focus is a bit different. Presently it seems like he's "in the trenches" with his coworkers...some who would've been one of his soldiers in the past.  The salutes are gone now, replaced with a hard-won acceptance and trust that the Colonel is "one of the boys" ---an experienced, capable, resourceful coworker (who sometimes needs the help of others! And isn't afraid to ask!!)

Time passes and we change to accommodate the newness of it. The Colonel is doing well-- adjusting to the Retirement Adventure as quickly as possible--- sometimes we have to utilize patience a bit more than we'd like! Getting the military retirement and disability benefits have been a struggle --changing policies and new laws/policies/definitions make for a roller coaster ride that are long-lived and bumpy.  If you're leaving the military, make sure you begin your information gathering and out-processing in a timely manner!!! I believe there are new requirements that include mandatory classes --pay attention to your out-processing time lines!! Don't put things off!! -- the Colonel took a "new" course and didn't get everything required from the "old" set of courses/standards...and it affected Everything!

Accepting our new path is paramount to living fully, in this present circumstance. Some things just plain cost more....Health Insurance is not a rise (I am Always surprised when I visit the pharmacy!!). Being older means our bones start creaking! Our eyes become less focused! Our stamina is not what it once was! (Many years ago my home would be "put together" both inside & out within months--presently we're still (!!!) working on it at the 12+ month mark!). We can rant & rave about the awfulness or? We can just age gracefully, accepting what is....making the wisest choices to lessen the blow on our mind, spirit and bodies as well as pocketbooks.

Not a bed of roses by my standards...I have struggled mightily with depression over the last 5 to 6 years.  This last year has been a curse as well as a blessing.  I finally had enough. I finally felt like the time had come to get more than just the status quo of help.

So I had a little adventure that reminds me vaguely of the movie 28 Days with Sandra Bullock.  She had a substance abuse problem...mine was an eating disorder I had hidden for too many years and the depression.  I went off to take care of both. And am still on my path to healing.  I'm finding that it's very difficult to find professionals that work with eating disorders partly because it's difficult, and partly because people with eating disorders hide it and try to keep it a secret. I've decided for myself, that I am no longer willing to hide.  It's time to let go and trust God and myself to take care of this one precious life.  Whew!! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest....I've started to ask forgiveness of those I had separated myself from--through isolation and even flakiness over the years. There's some forgiveness, sometimes not.  It's okay. Either way, it's time to move forward. No more stagnation for me baby!!!!

So even though the leaves may be turning brown and dying...I am looking at this fall season as a time for renewal. A time for rest (of sorts) and time of clearing away the debris to make room for the new, healthier, brighter days ahead.  


                          The adventure continues!!!

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