move forward, live fully, breathe deeply....

there are so many areas in our lives in which we can get stuck...drowning in things, worry, anxiety. Here is my journey to live simply, with the fantastic freedom of 'less is more' as my mantra.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A welcome respite...

The day is grey.  Overcast, pale grey, dull skyline. Oh, but how beautiful!  My spirit rises as the temperature cools.  A few leaves float in a zigzag path to their home on the parched thin blades of grass outside my backdoor.  I hardly notice the pain that seems to encompass my body...the constant ringing in my cloudy vision.

The television is playing an angst-ridden movie on motherhood in a big city.  My anxiety level is heightened, but I'm glued in place.  Unable to turn it off as I identify with the craziness of the main character having a meltdown on her way driving out of town, leaving her family behind.  A crisis.  As she screams a conversation over the cell phone with her husband relaying her plans, she whips the car back around at a harried pace as her youngest son is choking on a lollipop.

When she gets home, the child is fine.  She and her husband have a heart to heart...and he ends up asking:  "What would be a better life than you have right now?"  She's lost her voice, herself, through sacrifices and compromises she's made for her marriage, her children, her place in the neighborhood....He also asks:  "What do you really think?  Feel? ....what makes you want to live a life of passion, no matter how many socks you may have to pick up?"

Well, my only son is in his junior year in college.  Somehow, I haven't managed to find my joy for living every day with the expression of passion and eagerness.  But, gradually....I eke my way out of my dark cavernous void of a mid-life crisis...

There are so many blessings in the everyday things....I need to focus on them.  I need to see with thankful eyes the beautiful and the mundane and feel gratitude!  Every day.

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