move forward, live fully, breathe deeply....

there are so many areas in our lives in which we can get stuck...drowning in things, worry, anxiety. Here is my journey to live simply, with the fantastic freedom of 'less is more' as my mantra.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

On Criticism.....

What if someone you trusted was brave enough to tell you the truth as they saw it...about you. about something that they think is troublesome? that may be hurting you? or them? or both?

I have always treasured the friends that have dared to tell me the truth.  I don't always agree with what they say, but if they are honest and frank with me, I honor and love that there is sharing.

Sometimes, I can be objective and look at words.  If it is something that I can change to make myself a better me, I usually do.  If it is a gentling of my delivery...because sometimes words are delivered more harshly than I would like when I am feeling poorly, or exhausted...then I can regroup and try again.

Sometimes, unfortunately, I react like a scared little girl...even though I'm in my early 50's, when what is presented feels damning....sometimes I  pout...anger blinding me for a little while...
Sometimes, I hide myself away, buffering myself from pain and self-deprecation.  From inadequacy and judgement.

Given a little time...and introspection...I can usually figure out if it is something which I can accept to help me be a better me...or if it is something that I can agree to disagree on...though sometimes it's a bit harder to leave things behind...(like the trash you see blowing along the roadside)...if it feels like it is a slap instead of a hug (said with malice instead of love...).

I found this poem which sums up how I feel about criticism and how it is delivered...Something that I will try to read daily, so that even in the midst of fatigue I can remember to always, always:

Speak Gently

Speak gently! -- It is better far
To rule by love, than fear --
Speak gently -- let not harsh words mar
The good we might do here!

Speak gently! -- Love doth whisper low
The vows that true hearts bind;
And gently Friendship's accents flow;
Affection's voice is kind.

Speak gently to the little child!
Its love be sure to gain;
Teach it in accents soft and mild: --
It may not long remain.

Speak gently to the young, for they
Will have enough to bear --
Pass through this life as best they may,
'T is full of anxious care!

Speak gently to the aged one,
Grieve not the care-worn heart;
The sands of life are nearly run,
Let such in peace depart!

Speak gently, kindly, to the poor;
Let no harsh tone be heard;
They have enough they must endure,
Without an unkind word!

Speak gently to the erring -- know,
They may have toiled in vain;
Perchance unkindness made them so;
Oh, win them back again!

Speak gently! -- He who gave his life
To bend man's stubborn will,
When elements were in fierce strife,
Said to them, 'Peace, be still.'

Speak gently! -- 't is a little thing
Dropped in the heart's deep well;
The good, the joy, which it may bring,
Eternity shall tell.

David Bates

So let me remember to 
Speak gently.  
Love much. 
 Be kind.  

....and to do All things with love...
Hoping you have gentleness in your day,


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